As a christian, i've heard many times of how God values firstborns. For example He refered to Isreal as His firstborn. For santification purposes in the olden times, He required firstborns of bulls. I was also taught that firstborns are given authority and are commisioned to take over the role as the head of a family someday.
But as the eldest in my family, the eldest daughter of four children, as a child I used to complain and ask God why He choosed me. I didn't fancy being the eldest because of all the responsibility that was placed on my head even as a child. Everytime I hear the story of Esau, I understood why he sold his birthright, atlest i thought I did. I really didn't mind passing my birthright away if it meant that all my responsibilities are done away with. But obviously I was too proud to do that because my parents told me, if I did sell my birthright away (when i read it it sounds like "birth rightway" instead of "birthright away" o.O), my siblings wouldn't call me 'chechi' (malayalam for elder sister) anymore.
But now, I truly thank God for being the firstborn. Yes, I still do have heavy duties and responsibilities but I also have authority and most of all, trust from my parents. Why do i have alot of responsibility? Because my parents trust me enough to hand it to me. So if I were to think it in that way, I would stop whining and complaning about the loads of work they give me. Not only do they trust me at home but also when I go for outings.
I think God gave the firstborns and in-built motherly/fatherly instincts. For example, today, i told my brother to put the kettle to boil and I went out to dry the clothes. For some reason, i just felt like going into the kitchen and before even entering the kitchen, from the living room itself, i could smell gas! My siblings were in a room nearest to the kitchen yet they didn't smell a thing. I rush to the kitchen and found out there was no fire on the stove. Well, I found out the reason : the stove was wet. If it was me and if the stove was wet, i would have waited till it dries up before lighting it up. Unlike my brother who did a cincai (manglish= without a thought) work. Yup, my instinct or conscience saved us. Thank God!
Why do i think we're given motherly/fatherly instincts?:
- we're much more caring than our siblings.
- at some age we do chores without the need of being told. Well, turning 20, i still do have the attitude of " doing only if being told" for some chores. But for other chores, example, if the sink is full of dishes and i'm washing my plate, i'll just finish washing the rest WITHOUT BEING TOLD.
- we can relate better to our parents. Probably it's because we spent more years with our parents compared to our siblings. Note, i didn't say we don't have arguments or differ in our opinions. What i meant was, we do understand the situations that they're facing. Maybe in money matters or even sometimes the matters between both of them. Like, i can identify if my parents went through an arguement and what it is about. Most of the time, it's because both of them are at fault. When I was younger and told them what their problem was, they would just brush me off with a reply " you're young and you don't understand". But as I grew wiser with years (che wah, i like the expresion), i think they learnt that they should give some thought about what i had to say.
- good time management skill.
- and many many more of which i cannot think at this moment.
And please be reminded, althought we're motherly/fatherly we do not like to be called so, or at least I do not like to be called so. My friend once called me motherly because I was calling to check whether she's going to turn up for an event my friends and I planed. Other people equate caring to motherly. I was not entirely offended but still do not prefer the term- motherly -.- Sound like I had childen of my own and make me sound old. Well, i do refer to my siblings as my kids but please, i'm not a mother YET! I know people who don't mind being refered as motherly. So it still comes down to personal preferences. The next time, before you want to call anybody motherly/fatherly, maybe you should ask that person does he/she mind being called so.
Dear readers, maybe this has inspired you in some way to think positively of your precious position as a firstborn. So today, in your daily devotion or your prayers, maybe you can thank God for this blessing in disguise. For those of you who are not the firstborn, don't worry. I have theories of the roles you play in the family arrangement.
The middle ones usually serves as a support system for the eldest child. They are the ones that we secretly complain about our parents. They are also the ones we deligate our unbearable chores because we trust them. The last child is the one who controls our bad temper i guess. Naturally, I struggle with bad temper but when it comes to scolding my youngest, i still do scold him but with a lump in my troat, it feels so hard and i feel like crying. But spare the rod and spoil the child. So no giving in! If you are not the eldest, thank God for that too.
